Family & School Problems..

So stressed... About school and family relationships.. At home, my mom asked me why I've not been speaking to my dad in a nice manner or trying to talk to him or answering his questions in a eager manner but I can't seem to connect with my dad at all. He is so... pragmatic and rigid ( which is no surprise since he's an engineer and all ) but he doesn't get me but he tries sooo hard to try and talk to me but we don't really have anything in common except blood. He gets frustrated over why I do 'crazy' stuff like putting on facial masks, wearing a scarf out for dinner or painting my face. and he shows his frustration that's why I don't really like talking to him... but my dad really really cares about me that's why I feel bad because if I need food,transportation,money or any form of help, he'll be the first one there for me. Oh my god.. I feel so superficial and sound like a spoilt brat. My dad's like also sometimes bipolar or something.. He can be really negative by sighing loudly or talking to himself angrily or he could put on this really fake cheery facade and say 'GOoood morning!' in the morning and that really annoys me.. But I really love him though.. He's my dad afterall but I just don't understand him and I'm sure he doesn't understand me. He's like the total opposite of me...


I feel like such a bad friend too. In art, we have our own working table in the art room where we are able to do our own work and because my table is all the way on the inside of the art room,it's really hot and stuffy and so I began working on my friend's table. Eventhough she's okay with it, the irresponsible me doesn't clear up after I'm done and leaving a huge mess behind. I'm such an ass. I was the one who chose the table all the way inside afterall, so I should be dealing with the consequences. But instead I impose on other I shouldn't even impose on and leave my shit behind. ugh... I'm trying to change though...

Back in school.. It's art again that's stressing me out because for the whole week, I've been working on a new art project dealing with paper cutting and then yesterday I found out that the stuff I put into the preparatory boards for art must not be three dimensional and have to be in photographic format! It got me so upset and angered that I totally gave up on any form of art yesterday and just slacked the night away ( when I planned to focus on art )... But right now, since I'm already half done, I plan on picking myself up and continue the project and complete it and if I really need to take a photo of it, then let it be... Seriously I put hours of my time into it and it might turn out as a photograph...

 Anyway, here are some roses I made intended for the project. Those were hand-made entirely out of paper and were hand painted on(Explains the stained and glued hands)...

Lazy Leon

Painting my face for the sake of art...

I decided to do experimentation of paint on my face using different colours of acrylic paint...

Anyway, from tomorrow onwards I'm planning to really go full force for my studies. Since meeting the vice-principal, he asked me to come up with a study timetable and at first I was a bit hesitant of the idea but after coming up with it, I realised it's actually quite feasible and I could actually pull it off even though I'm not a timetable type of person. And one reason I don't want to study too much was because I didn't want to forgo my sleep and get dark circles ( I know this is a stupid reason but I only get an average of 4 hours of sleep a day with my insomnia) but I made a pact with my mom that if I were to study hard and get results she wouldn't mind letting me surgically remove my dark circles.. Lets go!!

Lazy Leon 

Tuesday Blues...

A painting I did of Marilyn Monroe on wood

I passed my NAPFA (National Fitness Assessment) ! I'm so happy. I was just aiming for a silver but I almost got a gold if not for standing broad jump where I fell short, literally, by 10cm.. I feel so stressed out about my school... Especially art. Everyone seems to have a specific direction to take for their art coursework while I'm struggling with mine and even doubting my whole vo concept 4months into the year...But I'm trying to look on the bright side and come up with new ideas which could help my coursework..

Sometimes I don't know if I should be surrounding myself with people who are similar to me. Sometimes I feel I'm too mean and my jokes can be taken the wrong way and seem insulting when I'm not serious at all. It is this kind of people that I can really have fun. Those who can take insults who know I'm not being serious and those who can insult me back and not be serious too. But sometimes, some people take my jokes seriously and I feel so bad when they get hurt. But sometimes, I get hurt too if the insults are serious. But I guess there's a downside to having friends like that, you have to be able to take it if you're gonna give it.

School's been do tiring with this insomnia. Sometimes I feel like the weirdest person in the world and that I was born not to conform to the society.. First, I have this weird condition where if I take 2 feeaking hours to sleep at night laying on the bed...BUT!! In this day, when I lay down in bed, I fall asleep in less than 10minutes!! Whether I'm tired or not!! Seriously I could go without sleep for 24 hours and still have this sleep delay thing AT NIGHT.. And.. I was born with a freaking big forehead which meant that I need a long fringe to cover it up..AND THE SCHOOL DOESN'T ALLOW IT. And I was born freaking fashionable which is unlike most Singaporeans who are fine with jeans and flip flops... Why... People may say 'it's okay to be different' which is obviously NOT in Singapore's context when people are going to bitch and gossip behind your back saying 'he's so gay' WHEN THEY DON'T even know you. Such bitches... And then some may say 'Don't care about what others think' WHICH DOESN'T MAKE SENSE because obviously no one wants to be gossiped about because if it's behind your back it's probably negative shit...

Sometimes I want to be myself. But society prevents me to ...


Lazy Leon

Another weekend gone...

I kind of wasted another full weekend... Instead of studying I slacked off watching documentaries and online shows =/. Well, it wasn't a really complete waste of time because at least I completed one drawing for art which is good. Anyway, there's the NAPFA ( National Physical Fitness Assessment ) tomorrow in the afternoon and I'm not scared that I will fail, but I'm scared that the lack of sleep may hinder my performance since I can't seem to fall asleep before 12am on Sunday Nights and I'll be droggy the whole day tomorrow...




Kitty sitting on my drawing while I'm drawing...



I also joined instagram which I love! I've always used the photoshop App on the iPhone to edit photos but now I'm going to start using instagram...

My new iPhone cover

Hope this week gets better

Lazy Leon

Scared.

I feel really embarrassed that i have to see the Vice Principal because of my academic results... I really don't know what to say in front of him and my parents..Seriously, my parents are still treating me so nice even after I told them I need to see the Vice Principal even letting me keep the new phone they just got me. They don't even scold me! My mom is just worried about my future and tells me to get serious. I know my parents love me and won't want me to be upset and get over this but this is actually the first time I'm being approached by the school because of my results...

Anyway, today I found exchanged blog links with a friend and found out more about her. But I don't know whether I should have since this is like my personal haven relax when I'm down but I if I tell someone this blog means I really trust that person.. Sometimes I'm really embarrassed about what I post on this blog and I NEVER read back at what I posted because I know I might regret it and decide to delete which I don't want to because I want to record it and maybe look back at it in the future that's why I don't really tell anyone.

It's really scary to think that you're being judged every moment you take a step because someone reads your blog but I really trust the 2 friends that know this blog.


Just hope I can get through this week without too much stress and start to focus on my studies...

Lips...

'The most sensual organ, the stain of beauty'

 

 Kiss Of Death

Beauty In The Cemetery

In the Singaporean-Buddhist culture, we have a yearly event called 'Chng Ming' which translates to 'clearing the grave' in English. We don't literally 'clear' the grave but instead, we visit our late relatives and pay our respects. Although I don't really believe in my parents' faith (or any other for that matte) I respect their culture and wanted to visit my late relatives anyway. Anyway, it was a really long day of walking around the graveyard and even faced a heavy downpour! I found solace in snapping pictures around the cemetery since the whole atmosphere there was really serene and tranquil, ironically, seeing that it's a place of death. Anyway check out the images I captured on my phone...

A chinese talisman

Getting ready to burn the 'money' to our dead relatives...

 

My late grandpa

A lion statue

I though this shot was really beautiful because it looked like a rose made out of ash...

After all was said and done...

 

 

 

After the visit to the cemetery, we decided to go to Jurong Point and have japanese food at...

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Delicious soba noodles!

Advocado seaweed wrap

The dinner was amazing! But the we queued for about half an hour just to get in so it was expected.Overall it was a really tiring but great day. A nice family outing, meal and cultural re-visitation...

 

Lazy Leon

Mouldy Bread WARNING : EXTREME GROSSNESS

So my mom made a cheese or tomato or some sandwich( I don't even know what) a month ago and I accidentally left it in the art room and today I found it mouldy and nasty and green-black in the Art Room . EWWW ... And just a week ago I accidentally ate a one week old sandwich and it was all sour and bitter at the same time!!! I gotta remind myself to eat my sandwiches!

WARNING : Extremely gross sandwich pics

Lazy Leon

Good Friday

Ahh… Finally the holidays are here. Okay well, it’s just a 3 day break but thank go d for Good Friday ( See what I did there) .I'm actually relieved that Good Friday is here because I have a day off from EVERYTHING. I woke up to a heavy downpour this Friday and had 11 hours of sleep.. How wonderful. Compared to the mere 4 hours I usually have on weekdays…Anyway, there’s been some drama in my family because my parents are feuding with my uncle ( dad’s brother ) because when my grandmother died 4 years ago, she left behind a house which would be shared amongst my dad and his siblings. But now, my uncle wants to buy it at a price of 1.6 million SGD but that was the official evaluated price 6 months ago. And my parents want him to get the house’s price re-evaluated since the housing market would have probably gone up but my uncle refused to and insists on buying it at 1.6million although the estimated price of it could well be over 1.8 million SGD. My parents actually have no problems selling him the house at 1.6million SGD, they just feel its unfair since TWO of the 5 siblings live overseas and may not be familiar with the housing market here in Singapore and they might be willing to sell the house without knowing of the true value of that house. So anyway, now my parents are having lots of calls, emails and texting with my uncle and it’s really going back and forth and not going anywhere. I’ve always grown up in a peaceful, feud free family with all my relatives getting along fine and this is kind of the first I’ve experienced so I’m really not looking forward to the next family gathering because it’s going to be sooo awkward…

On a side note, I can’t wait to get started on my art today and the coming weekend! Oh and Titanic 3D is out! I can't wait to watch it with my family!

Lazy Leon

Downsides to accepting random friend requests..

You might encounter whores flooding your newsfeed, distrupting your status stalking...