Sometimes I wonder why I blog about my pain when I try so hard to forget about it. But I guess I've come to a point where I realized that a certain period of my life can never be forgotten and will always linger in my mind. And I guess if I were to forget the pain in my life, I wouldn't be who I am today...and blogging allows me to release the anger and sadness I have bottled inside from the past and really live my life truly and to move on...
I remember one incident which really hurt my mom...Looking back at it I really felt bad...
It was a family day at East Coast Park and we as a family decided to go cycling and have fun.But then my mom's phone rang and she used a track which I recorded secretly singing in my room on my phone and sent it to herself to use as he ringtone.I was so embarrassed I shouted at her and ran away from home. They searches the whole area and finally found me an I reluctantly went home.I was solo freaking angry with my mom and that very night I slashed my whole arm and made sure that the blood would cover y whole left arm and the next morning when she woke me up, she started sobbing profusely and she said 'WHY DID YOU DO THIS!?' while sobbing her eyes out. And with a smile I said 'it's a present to you'.OMG NOW LOOKING BACK AT THAT INCIDENT I FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE. For days she would cry in her room and y faker would Comfort her..It was not her fault that I was so sensitive and she was just having fun. She even went to force me to cut her because she said it would 'hurt her less'...Yes it was painful to see her like that.
But I guess that point of my life is over and done with, and I'm a much happier person now...And less sensitive. And definately a much better person!
LAZY LEON
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