Shit

 Mabel & I

Sometimes I don't know what is wrong with me.I feel that I am really nice but people seem to give me lots of shit? It's like I have sooo many friends... But none of them close.'Jack of all trades, master of none' I guess it's because I am really insensitive at times but I feel that I would drop whatever I'm doing just to help a friend out.Take for example me & Mabel. Although I feel close to hwe, I don't feel like we are super close. It's just a feeling I get. Maybe I'm too paranoid,hopefully.Since the whole May Ee saga and her blog post about me(read previous blog posts) I don't think I can ever talk to her as a good friend again.She comes off as a fragile,sensitive girl who cares alot but I feel deep down she's a jealous,over-sensitive bitch.I may smile and wave to people in school whom I don't necessarily like, but is that being fake? I think I'm just being a nice human being.But that doesn't pay off.It seems I get more shit from people who I'm nice to.Maybe it's time to change...

I know some people who really do care about me though, I hope...But most of my close friends are girls, but I know I will never be regarded as one of their best friends because girls usually confide in girls with their problems and assume guys won't get it.Well, I do.But they don't give me a chance.That's why I feel I don't fit into the inner circles of either guys or girls.Sometimes, I really don't feel like helping someone, but I will feel bad about it and give in.I even go to the extent of traveling to them just to help them.But it seems they would always have a group of inner circle they hang out with.and I'm just a spare tyre.

But I think I'm just being too sensitive.Just like May Ee.But I don't want to be like her...Because hen you are too sensitive, you become paranoid and lose focus on what's important ; your life and people around you.So I guess I'm just gonna have to work on this problem.

And hopefully gain some real, trustworthy friends who can share my joy,sadness and laughter...

<3

Lazy Leon