Tuesday Blues...

A painting I did of Marilyn Monroe on wood

I passed my NAPFA (National Fitness Assessment) ! I'm so happy. I was just aiming for a silver but I almost got a gold if not for standing broad jump where I fell short, literally, by 10cm.. I feel so stressed out about my school... Especially art. Everyone seems to have a specific direction to take for their art coursework while I'm struggling with mine and even doubting my whole vo concept 4months into the year...But I'm trying to look on the bright side and come up with new ideas which could help my coursework..

Sometimes I don't know if I should be surrounding myself with people who are similar to me. Sometimes I feel I'm too mean and my jokes can be taken the wrong way and seem insulting when I'm not serious at all. It is this kind of people that I can really have fun. Those who can take insults who know I'm not being serious and those who can insult me back and not be serious too. But sometimes, some people take my jokes seriously and I feel so bad when they get hurt. But sometimes, I get hurt too if the insults are serious. But I guess there's a downside to having friends like that, you have to be able to take it if you're gonna give it.

School's been do tiring with this insomnia. Sometimes I feel like the weirdest person in the world and that I was born not to conform to the society.. First, I have this weird condition where if I take 2 feeaking hours to sleep at night laying on the bed...BUT!! In this day, when I lay down in bed, I fall asleep in less than 10minutes!! Whether I'm tired or not!! Seriously I could go without sleep for 24 hours and still have this sleep delay thing AT NIGHT.. And.. I was born with a freaking big forehead which meant that I need a long fringe to cover it up..AND THE SCHOOL DOESN'T ALLOW IT. And I was born freaking fashionable which is unlike most Singaporeans who are fine with jeans and flip flops... Why... People may say 'it's okay to be different' which is obviously NOT in Singapore's context when people are going to bitch and gossip behind your back saying 'he's so gay' WHEN THEY DON'T even know you. Such bitches... And then some may say 'Don't care about what others think' WHICH DOESN'T MAKE SENSE because obviously no one wants to be gossiped about because if it's behind your back it's probably negative shit...

Sometimes I want to be myself. But society prevents me to ...


Lazy Leon