I feel popular yet unpopular

I live such a polar life. One day I could be surrounded by friends having lunch, the next I'll be sitting by myself wishing there were people beside me to talk to and confide in. Why do I live such a life? I guess it all lies with my class. I feel like I can communicate better with girls and they get me better. Anyway, my class comprises of an equal mix of guys and girls. I don't know why I can't communicate smoothly with either gender. The guys don't get why I behave the way I do ; Effeminate. and the girls don't get why I don't hang with the guys... Actually I would rather have recess with the girls in my class but the girls sit in one table and the guys sit in the other. It would be so embarrassing to sit with the girls instead of the guys, which is like a social suicide, like shouting ' Come insult me, I am gay! ' ... I wished I was in a class with majority of them being girls. Why do I live such a perplexed life? and now I have exams to deal with hmph... Then,,,you may ask me why am I surrounded by friends sometimes? Because they are made up of people from other classes who do get me, and what I am suffering. But even so, I still can't reveal everything to the people around me, because I have been hurt one too many times... I just want to treasure the friendships and bonds I have currently =)